someone is awesome

heymeamy @ 2007-02-17T18:26:00

2007-02-17T23:51:12Z

Since I never make posts, i'll do this for kicks.

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random. (I'm using iTunes.)
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 15 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (I've made case-by-case exceptions for songs that had no lyrics, no discernible lyrics, no lyrics in English, and songs whose first lines are actually the respective titles)
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING.
Step 6: Answers will be posted one week from NOW. GO!

1. You held my hand and walked me home...I know.
2. I've been dreaming all the things I've learned about a boy.
3. Like sun through the night...
4. Trouble came around here...
5. Something in the way she moves...
6. Step one, you say we need to talk...
7. Gotta call from an old friend, we used to be real close.
8. Sometimes I get this feeling I won't be on this planet for very long.
9. When the road gets dark, and you can no longer see...
10. We'd hit the bottom, I thought it was my fault...
11. It's the first time I've every felt this lonely.
12. Get your ass up and hurry up.
13. I couldn't tell you why she felt that way.
14. I've had relations with girls from many nations.
15. Tell me that you've got everything you want.

BAHAHA. that's all.

heymeamy @ 2006-06-24T17:59:00

2006-06-25T00:24:46Z

Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will .

1. Who was your best friend? the one and only, Rachel FitzSimons

2. What sports did you play? no.

3. What kind of car did you drive? my 1991 honda accord that i still drive and is awesome.

4. It's Friday night, where were you at? the yearbook room on a deadline weekend.

5. Were you a party animal? no.

6. Were you considered a flirt? no.

7. Ever skip school? yes. but usually not for the whole day. mainly it consisted of skipping one period of yearbook and sitting in rachel's car in the parking lot listening to eminem, or skipping australian physics by timing just right how to escape the parking lot security guard and going to wilco or sunrise with rachel and daniel.

8. Ever smoke? no.

9. Were you a nerd? yes, in the grand scheme of high school, but not enough for me to care.

10. Did you get suspended/expelled? no.

11. Can you sing the Alma Mater? no, because all i can think of right now is Hark the Sound (Carolina fight song) and the Frank Porter Graham song (elementary school fight song)

12. Who was your favorite teacher? Bud Stuart, although i didn't have him senior year. I don't think i liked any of my senior year teachers enough to have a favorite of them. most entertaining/taught me the most/kicked my ass was probably Ken Stewart, AP Spanish language teacher.

13. Favorite class? yearbook. even though it made me insane, stressed me out, and consumed my life. i was in my element, and i don't think i've gotten back to that since i've been in college.

14. Full School Name? Chapel Hill High School

15. School mascot? Tigers

16. Did you go to Prom? yes. grudgingly, but then happily. i never wanted to go to prom. it wasn't my scene. but rachel forced me to go. somehow, i even got up the nerve to ask my 4-year crush to go with me. (and if he is for some reason reading this, so be it. that's AWESOME.) he told me he wasn't going, which was fine, b/c i went with 3 of my girlfriends instead. we had a great time. rachel and i took pictures at her house beforehand, we drove down franklin st. listening to LOUD music and learning a crazy dance from marie, which we have now passed on to everyone b/c we love it so much. it was probably one of the only times in high school i got that dressed up, danced a bunch, left and went back to jessica's house to watch sixteen candles, eat cheese puffs and sleep charlie and the chocolate factory-style in one big bed. definitely awesome.

17. If you could go back and do it over, would you? do it over, no. go back and relive some of it, yes, sometimes. i missed it a lot more during freshman year of college, and i still miss certain things and people, but i'm glad to be where i am now.

18. What do you remember most about graduation? blow-up dolls and awkward valedictorian speeches.

19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year? when the yearbooks came out and we gave them out to seniors, and the senior slideshow, me in the light booth. and getting to use the GOD mic during rehearsal for it. mos def.

20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall? heh? i don't think that existed.

21. Did you have a job your senior year? not anything that i got paid for.

22. Who did you date? i didn't.

23. Where did you go most often for lunch? umm, armadillo grill, katie's pretzels, wendy's, wilco for a doughnut (never again), yearbook room, somewhere.

24. Have you gained weight since then? yes. i lost 10 pounds during my senior year because i was always busy doing things and didn't eat lunch and ate goldfish for breakfast and wheat thins at home. i gained it back, which i think is a good thing.

25. What did you do after graduation? went to projectgraduation till 4am, which was awesome. i don't even know what i did, but i do know that rachel and i made a music video of ourselves as eminem.

26. When did you graduate? 2003

heymeamy @ 2006-06-24T17:40:00

2006-06-24T22:48:47Z

i got inspired. life is crazy, i'm in chicago, and i promise i'll make real post very soon.

True or False YOU CAN ONLY SAY TRUE OR FALSE! NO IF'S, AND'S OR BUT'S!

I am a cuddler - true
I am a morning person - false
I am a perfectionist - true
I am an only child - false
I am Catholic - false
I am currently in my pajamas - false
I am currently single - false
I am okay at styling other people's hair - false
I am left handed - true
I am addicted to my myspace - false
I am very shy around the opposite gender - false
I bite my nails - true
I can be paranoid at times - true
I currently regret something that I have said - false
When I get mad I curse frequently - true
I like someone - true
I enjoy country music - false
I enjoy jazz music - true
I enjoy smoothies - true
I enjoy talking on the phone - true
I have a lot to learn - true
I have a pet - true
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal - true
I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" person - false
Ihave all my grandparents - false
I have at least one sibling - true
I have been told that I am smart - true
I got higher then C's in school- true
My GPA was higher then 2.5 - true
I have broken a bone - false
I have Caller I.D. on my phone - true
I have bathed/showered with someone - false
I have changed a diaper - true
I have changed a lot over the past year - true
I have done something illegal - true
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair - false
I have had surgery - true
I have killed another person - false
I have had my hair cut within the last week - false
I have had the cops called on me - false
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't - true

whoa next year

2006-04-26T00:30:37Z

I'm officially the new co-editor of the Design Desk of the Daily Tarheel. I know,some people told me not to, and I know, I'm crazy and still a litte freaked out.

But I'm excited.

that drive

2006-04-22T04:57:19Z

You ever just walk down one street and suddenly remember, like, 50 things that happened there, at one time or another? I mean, yeah, you can say "memory lane" or whatever, but it's kinda a cool, refreshing feeling to have.

Tonight I was walking down Stadium Drive. I had packed up all my stuff to take home with me and was meeting my parents at Boshamer Stadium post-Carolina baseball game, so I walked across campus.

The first thought that ran through my head was probably that i probably looked like a big dork. Wearing black pants and my CHHS Tigers Homecoming 2001 long-sleeve shirt inside out, i had on my backpack that was huge because i'd filled in with miscellaneous things, my purse across my chest, carrying my discman with headphones on, as well as my laptop-in-case in one hand, and a loaf of Challah under my other arm. It took me three songs to get to Stadium: "Girl" by Beck, "Brighter than Sunshine" by Aqualung, and "Collide" by Howie Day. (If you know me really well, you'll know what mix i was listening to.)

Music in my ears, I passed by Carmichael dorm, where I remember checking in at C-TOPS. My parents didn't even come with me, so I just drove myself to campus, parked, shuttled over, and checked in. I was on my own. And in a weird place, socially. Even though I was still in my hometown, I felt really alone and it was kind of a weird couple days for me.

I passed Kenan Stadium, where I went to like 2 football games. One was with Rachel and Mike, and we got kicked out our seats, and these drunk guys next to us offered us liquor, and we were so SHOCKED.

So many times I walked the length of Stadium Drive in the dark, as Bryan walked me back to my dorm from late nights in Mangum or wherever else on campus we happened to land.

Walking back in the cold with Rachel, arms linked, we would scurry up to the air vents that would let out warm air, and we'd just stand there to get warm for a few seconds before finally making it down to Avery.

Passed by Teague, where my friend Dan lived. I remember being his room, listening to him play guitar, eating cake, watching the Daily Show.

Passed by Parker, where we vended sometimes. I also went to a Haunted House at Halloween time in Parker, got some candy. Wasn't that scary.

I remember when Sharon Chen (aka the Asian Devil), who I didn't even know knew me, stopped me on the street and told me to come visit her in Parker. And i immediately thought "NO."

I remember once in the winter, when it was snowing, Rachel and I decided to go out frolicking in the night. We walked up a ways, and she decided to sit on the back of a pick-up truck covered in snow, just enjoying the night. All of a sudden a car of people drives up, rolls down a window, and someone says "Do you know who's truck that is?" She says no. Some girl in the car says "Uhh, that's my friend's truck." The girl starts getting really mad, even as Rachel gets off the truck. They're driving away as the other people are telling this girl to stop yelling about it. But then the girl gets out of the car and starts coming after us. We ran away, and hid behind the Alumni Center before she got to us. It was so ridiculous, but actually pretty scary.

I drove my car down to Stadium from Beatty Hill to meet Sizzle and have a bitching session in End Zone and play video games for hours.

One time, Bryan and I were riding the P2P back to my dorm, and it was late and really crowded. Someone had brushed past me with her purse, and got my hand wet. I assumed beer had gotten on her purse, and I was like, "Eww. Beer." Soon I realized it was actually vomit that had gotten onto my hand, and as soon as we got off, I ran down the street into my dorm to wash my hands IMMEDIATELY.

That's a good one to end on, because they basically are endless. I like that.

a few great things

2006-04-19T04:27:21Z

Today was awesome. But first some tadbits about the last few.

Over the weekend, I went up to Philadelphia. I flew up Thursday night and stayed at Bryan's parents' house until early Monday morning. I had a really good time, and it was interesting to stay the least, having never been there before nor been in that specific situation before. I did lots of Jewish things, which I hadn't done in awhile, and living with someone else's family for awhile is always an interesting experience, lots of observations to make. I took Bryan to my aunt and uncle's house a few towns over on Saturday night for dinner, and it went superbly. It was great to see them, and they loooooved him. We talked a bunch, had a good dinner, and played ping pong and pool with the kids. My aunt Jennifer sent me an e-mail when i got back saying how much they liked him and how good a time they had with us. Yay. If it all works out, I'm going to take him to my family reunion at the end of the summer, so most everybody else of the extended fam can meet him. He'll be the first boyfriend of a grandkid to go to a reunion, so that's pretty cool. I'm really excited about it.

My flight back home was early in the morning so that we had to leave at 4:30 am. We just decided to stay up all night, which provided me with one whole hour of sleep on the plane, and that was all i got yesterday. It was a really busy day that ended with a tap gig, and i went to bed at 9:50 pm. That I have not done in a LONG time. I slept until 11:30 am. 14 hours of sleep. It was crazy.

Today, I was very busy post-11:30 am when i awoke. Went to one class, then the next was cancelled, so during my break i went over to the DTHto continue working on DIVE cover. I'm doing the cover this week, and if you don't know about it, it's a section in the Daily Tarheel called DIVERSIONS. It comes out every Thursday issue and is a special section that is done by the Arts section. The front generally features a really big story on something artsy such as the Carolina Jazz Festival, or concert-goers, movies, etc. The Design desk gets to design the cover to make it look really awesome. It is definitely the big highlight of the week's paper, and a big deal at the DTH. So, I collaborated with somebody else to make my FIRST DIVE COVER. After I was done with classes, I was there for 5 HOURS working on it. It is now done, and I'm really proud of it. I've gotten lots of compliments on it already, so I'm really excited for how it will turn out. If you go to UNC, PLEASE. PICK UP A DTH, THIS THURSDAY, APRIL 20. Check out my hard work, I hope you like it. And I have a feeling that many of the people reading this journal will be interested in the story topic. SO, PLEASE DO SO. It would mean a whole lot to me. Also, if you're not from around here, I'm pretty sure it will be online at www.dailytarheel.com on Thursday, but it may not be after that day.

Speaking of design stuff, tomorrow is the deadline for Desk Editors. So, as of now, we have nobody that wants to step up as editor. We have 4 people that want to be assistant but nobody wants to go that extra step. This...is kind of a problem. I've held out for 3 years, and I have finally decided to be an Assistant Editor next year. It's much more of a responsibility but I think i can do it, and it'll be good. But as far as editor, I just don't think I can do it. It's a ridiculous job. People don't understand the extent to this job. It's your job to put together the entire paper EVERY DAY for an ENTIRE YEAR. I've learned a lot in the past 3 years, but it still doesn't seem enough to do what my editors do. Unfortunately, I feel the same way as everybody else. But my editor is suggesting me as one of three possibilities for a co-editorship. I talked to her about it a lot tonight, and we're gonna have to figure out something real soon. So we'll see where I end up.

Also today, I had a meeting with my medical journalism professor to discuss my topic for the final project, a huge story plus sidebar to total about 10 pages that counts as my final exam. This whole semester I have written several big stories on one health-related topic. Mine was sleep disorders, so I have been learning all about them. I've decided to focus on the area of Sleep Apnea for my final story. And during our meeting, my professor came up with a great idea: I can call the UNC Sleep Clinic and ask them if they'd let me actually stay over night and get the treatment for my story. I could take a tape recorder and take notes on everything that happens during my "treatment". Then I can write a 1st person narrative feature on the experience. She said it could be a really awesome story and something that I could enter it in the Hearst Contest, which is basically like the Pulitzer for college journalism, and I can win big money for it. I could get it published too. So that was really exciting and I'm definitely gonna look into it and see what I can do.

There's lots done already and lots of stuff ahead this week, two papers/stories due next Tuesday and a final next week (last week of classes whoa). I'm going to my brother's first baseball game, where he is starting pitcher. I can't wait. I'm going to see Modern DanceExtension and Kamikaze, both of which I have friends in and will be awesome. And this weekend I get to chill at home with my doggie while my fam is out of town.

I can't wait for summer. But lots of stuff is going on and I'm really enjoying the now. Good. Lots of love.

i'm wasting away.

2006-04-08T20:14:11Z

I'm never sick. For the last 4 days, I have been. All i need to do is eat, and my stomach would stop bothering me. But I can't. It won't let me eat. I'm already behind in stuff, and I have a lot to do in the next four days before I get on an airplane to Philadelphia (namely, a story that was due last Thursday, an exam Tuesday, an eight-page paper due Thursday and another story due Thursday.) When will this end? And i hope to god something bigger isn't wrong with me. I agree wholeheartedly that going to the doctor when there is nothing they can do/tell you is pointless. But if this continues, i may just have to force myself to haul ass up to student health (a rare occasion, only for an ear infection on the first day of classes this semester and for immunizations) come Monday. Very bad timing, this is. I've already skipped 3 classes and a full day of work in exchange for time spent in bed, watching felicity and full house and trying to sleep, eating jello and raspberry mousse yogurt when i can make myself. At least, thank god for good friends and family and lovers, close and far.

garr

2006-04-05T02:12:12Z

What a long day. I just finished my taxes. For the second time, sort of. I don't know why, but I just got really upset about it. Maybe it was just because I was trying to do the right thing and not get evaded, and even though it seemed uncanny that I owed $43.00, that's the way it is. Maybe it was because, even as my mom said, that's nothing in the real world, right now that's like a third of my bank account. Bam, off to the government. OH well. At least it's done now and not bothering my full brain.

Oh, I also found out today: MY SACRUM DOESN'T MOVE.

Yeah, it seems weird, but it actually might be a clue, and something that nobody else had really taken note of until today when Mark, my new person that treats me (i don't even know what to call him) said. So, it's entirely possible that because my sacrum is unable to move, my entire spine is affected, and that may be the source of my pain. We'll see what happens.

And, i got asked tonight "So, white girl, are you off to do work or do somebody?"

heymeamy @ 2006-03-10T12:48:00

2006-03-10T18:25:17Z

OMG, i got tagged twice for this, so i guess i better effing do it.

Four Jobs I’ve Had
1. Bread-seller at Great Harvest Bread Company
2. Temporary replacement at Paper, Pen, and Ink
3. Dept. of Epidemiology filing where Rachel and I went insane.
4. Caretaker for a 6-month child EVERY DAY for a long time

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over Again
1. Say Anything
2. My Best Friend's Wedding
3. When Harry Met Sally
4. The Ref

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch
1. Once and Again
2. Felicity (even though she's a retard, it's funny)
3. Doug
4. Sue Johansen's Sunday Night Sex Show

Four Places I've Been on Vacation
1. The Mediterranean Sea
2. Jackson Hole, WY
3. All around Washington State, in an RV
4. Crested Butte, CO

Four Favorite Dishes
1. What I get every Monday for lunch: chicken caesar wrap at lenoir, fries, and a sierra mist-kiwi strawberry juice mix.
2. cinnamon swirl toast with cinnamon sugar and OJ
3. CHEESE AND CRACKERS AND WINE
4. baked ziti

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. GMAIL
2. livejournal
3. PANDORA.com (holy shit. my life in a website.)
4. AIM today, not by choice (FUCKING AIM today)

Four Places I'd Rather Be
1. Uh, how about nowhere. I like where i am.
2. Costa Rica
3. Crested Butte
4. the Island.

Four Bloggers I'm Tagging
Get a do-it-yourself book.

Four Books You Love
1. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
2. Guide to Getting it On
3. Ordinary People
4. the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind screenplay (well, i have it.)

OK THAT'S ALL. BACK TO BEING IN CHICAGO. OK BYE

heymeamy @ 2006-02-22T00:26:00

2006-02-22T05:31:34Z

We're all so different! It's crazy.

the Questioner
Test finished!

you chose CY - your Enneagram type is SIX.

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family,
friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved
and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

Be direct and clear.

Listen to me carefully.

Don't judge me for my anxiety.

Work things through with me.

Reassure me that everything is OK between us.

Laugh and make jokes with me.

Gently push me toward new experiences.

Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Six

being committed and faithful to family and friends

being responsible and hardworking

being compassionate toward others

having intellect and wit

being a nonconformist

confronting danger bravely

being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Six

the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind

procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence
in myself

fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of

exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger

wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right

being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Sixes as Children Often

are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and
stubborn

are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger

form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent

look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority
and rebel

are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families,
and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Sixes as Parents

are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty

are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence

worry more than most that their children will get hurt

sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy

Discover the 9 Types of People

HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose CY

Would you rather have chosen:

AY (EIGHT)

BY (FOUR)

CX (TWO)

CZ (ONE)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 0% on ABC

You scored higher than 57% on XYZ

Link: The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Interesting, except for as a parent, that seems kinda weird.

heymeamy @ 2006-02-19T18:26:00

2006-02-19T23:44:04Z

I love you too much for something bad to happen to you. So, be careful.

love, amy

heymeamy @ 2006-02-18T02:33:00

2006-02-18T07:34:25Z

DRUNK POST!!!

i love my babies. immensely.

heymeamy @ 2006-02-10T22:49:00

2006-02-11T04:25:26Z

So, this is actually more of a somber thing than how i'm really feeling right now, but i gotta do it.

I...think I miss my grandfather.

I have had two dreams recently, one last night, and one a few weeks ago, involving his spirit. In last night's dream, I was going to Thanksgiving dinner with my family, and I walked in, and there he was, sitting at a small round table with two other people. I saw him there, in his blue button-down shirt that he would always wear. I sat down, and he just sat there, like nothing was different. I don't remember much of the conversation, except that I looked at him, and said, "I haven't seen you in a long time," as I broke out into heavy tears. I knew he was dead. Later in the dream, I was retelling it to someone else and cried when I spoke the words, and then the same scene played over again.

The one I had several weeks ago, was similar. It was a family reunion, and i was in a house awaiting the rest of my relatives. We were on a top floor, so we saw people as they walked up the stairs to us. I saw my uncle and aunt, and then Papa. I saw him, got really excited, and then he vanished into thin air. I immediately broke into violent tears. Then I told what happened to my mom and my grandmother, and I cried every time I spoke the words.

The dreams had a very surreal feel to them, and, even though they were simple and involved a lot of replay, the emotional reaction I had during them was so immense. I started thinking about it more as I was riding the bus to work, and I almost started crying.

See, my grandfather died when I was 13. He was diagnosed with colon cancer and went quickly after. The whole family was there when he was put in the hospital, because we knew it wouldn't be much longer after that. Everyone had a chance to go see him, and I didn't. In fact, I remember distinctly the moment that I was asked because i had dejavu, like I had dreamt that very moment before. I came into my grandparents' kitchen, and my Aunt Julie asked me, "Do you want to go visit him?" And I said, "No. I...think i want to remember the way he was." My mom was in the ambulance with him when they rushed him to hospice, but he didn't make it. She was there when he died.

Everyone had an awful time getting over his death. My mom, especially, and my grandmother, my uncle...A bunch of us were at the house when we got the news. I remember Phil sitting next to me, and he was crying. I didn't cry right away. I did, I think, some moments later. But, truthfully, that was it, I didn't have much of an emotional reaction to it. I was 13, and throughout the traumas of my childhood, I could not express my feelings. I kept everything inside of me, and never reacted to things immediately. It took 10 years before I reacted to the abandonment of my father. And still, Charlotte always did most of the talking.

Papa was a wonderful man. I have so many memories of him, that I haven't thought about in a while. It's strange thinking about how much I respected and looked up to him as a kid, and I wonder how my life would be different if he were still here. So, I wonder, what brings him back all of sudden, in my subconscious. That, now that almost 8 years have past, it's my time to mourn for him? I'm not sure. Hmm...

i'm actually doing things

2006-01-31T05:33:38Z

Ahh, I feel accomplished. I just finished up two internship applications that I'm sending off tomorrow. This is a huge improvement from yesterday, when I seriously was having a "i have so much to do i don't want to do any of it" moment. This whole process is really scary, but cool at the same time. I feel like I'm being responsible and whether I'm successful or not, I'm at least attempting to do something worthwhile and potentially really awesome with my summer. So that's a lot of what I've been doing lately, using my time to prepare for these possibilities. A couple weeks ago, right when I was feeling a little disappointed that I hadn't really been finding what I want, I had a moment of seeming fate and found something that is exactly what I want to do, exactly where i want to be, and exactly when i want to be there. With, by the way, more money provided than I would have expected. So, basically, I really want this. So I'm trying hard. Buut, if it doesn't work out, I'm allowing myself many other opportunities, which hopefully will provide me with something good in the end. Not only would the experience be AMazing, but it feels really awesome to take on something RESPONSIBLY and completely on my own. It's something I want for MYSELF, something i decided to do by myself, and am doing because it's important to me. Not because I SHOULD do it or because someone else wants me to. It's been stressing me out a lot, with ALL the things there are to do. But I feel good about it tonight. It's stressful but really exciting.

Oh, and I know I didn't say anything much about the start of the semester and my classes. But for some reason or another, I'm steering away from those "let me tell you this semester's schedule!" posts. But, I will say, for the record, I dropped my Biology major before classes started, which has made my life amazingly better. So now I'm purely a journalism major, and i'm loving it. I'm taking 12 hours (which is AWesome) all of which I'm really liking a lot. Most everything I'm learning is interesting to me and I look forward to it. I don't have to get up early, and I don't have to do shit i don't care about anymore. Most of all, I don't have to overachieve to feel good about myself. Because...oh wait, I'm not that kind of person anymore. YES!

So: I'm not fucking up my academic career anymore. I'm doing what I want. I'm moving forward, responsibly and independently. I have opportunities galore. I have immense love all around me, and give it back, especially to those who deserve it. I feel appreciated for being who i am by those around me, and feel awesome about myself. I love my life now, but can't wait for the future.

oh, and thursday is going to rule hard. :)

get with it.

2006-01-17T23:29:12Z

WHOA. i DO still have muscles. I actually worked out hard for the first time in about a month today. I would've started earlier in the semester if i hadn't been so dang sick. Which never happens, btw. I think I'm finally getting over it though. Whatever it was, it struck me right as I was coming back from Chicago, gave me an ear infection the first morning of classes, my first sickness-related visit to student health, and some pink amoxicillin that tastes of strawberry.

Crap, so much happening, but I have rehearsal in 12 minutes, and my lasagna is almost ready to eat! more sooooon!

heymeamy @ 2005-12-28T19:05:00

2005-12-29T00:06:00Z

My 8 year-old brother does crazy break dance moves when no one's looking. But THIS time, I got it on video. YES.

i'm up to something...

2005-12-28T05:38:36Z

WHOA. So, I'll label this my somewhat half-way winter break post.

Right now, I'm sitting in my bed at home, under my quilt that my mom made, and with my room cleaner than it was earlier today. I just got home from the Mardi Gras, where I ended up going bowling with my family and our best family friends/neighbors. So we had this massive 10 person bowling competition, between the kids (who are mostly grown) and the adults. My mom, having been on a bowling team when she was 12, managed to scrounge around the attic and find her 35+ year old bowling ball. It was fun! We hardly ever do things like this, and it was cool to go with another family. Then Brixx for dinner, which was grrreat since i was starving. Only downside of the night was that I think i'm having an esophageal spasm. Something didn't go down all the way, so it hurts to swallow. Hopefully, it'll go down eventually...

Earlier today was a mix of good and bad. I went shopping with rachel and had a great time. I got new hott jeans, even though i wasn't supposed to spend any money, and some really awesome earrings, that i am excited to wear, since rachel is now making me wear earrings because she just loves them so much, she thinks i should too. Had our traditional Chao Cajun for lunch, some ice cream that didn't turn out so great for dessert, and some good ole rachel/amy conversations. It felt really good. Rachel and I are finally back on a good side. Things recently have been...okay. But our friendship changed immensely this semester. Different things happen, priorities change, and we haven't been there for each other nearly as much as we used to be. I think, as a whole, it's been a good step in going our separate ways. But our friendship is too everlasting and important to be gone forever. And I know that there are lots of scary things in the future that are hard to think about, but we're going to make it through, i know we will. Plus, we still gotta a year and a half to go. So...good. Really good. We are back in action.

(oh, and on the bad side, my mother yelled at me a lot today, which i didn't feel was deserved. i felt incredibly powerless, like i was in high school again, and thought we could get through a couple weeks without these things happening, but it was stupid to think that. oh well.)

So. What else have i done?? Goodness gracious.
I went to the Nutcracker with the FitzSimons family and Barnes. That was really fun! We all got dressed up, giggled at the cute ones, and made fun of "Coffee" for being reDICK skinny.
I had my first big performance with Footnotes at the Carolina Inn. I thought overall it went really well and everyone seemed to enjoy it a lot. I had a lot of fun doing it and am really happy to be part of this team. It's really really great. And I was so happy to have all the supporters that I did. Yay.
Then, this past Thursday-Saturday was really exhausting as I spent A LOT of hours working at Great Harvest for the holiday rush. Goodness, thankfully THAT is over.
Charlotte came home for Christmas, but I really did not spend as much time with her as I should have. I was just working a ton, and did all of my shopping in one day, and was busy with other stuff other times, and blah blah. I know I really didn't have an excuse, but I think I did get to have some good sisterly time, just wish there was more. I feel really bad about it, and I don't know what my problem was, and I'm sorry :(. But I'll see her again really soon, so cool.
So, my Christmas was actually really good! Despite it being really really rushed leading up to it, it was nice. I got a REALLY AWESOME bike! And along with it a helmet, and a massive lock, and lights. So I'll be riding it around town and campus, which will rock. Yay!

And, yeah, I'm going out and having a fun-filled sleepover with rach tomorrow, and i'm very excited about this. And then, Thursday, she's taking me to the airport because I'm leaving for Chicago! AHHH! I'm going to see my boy!!!! I haven't seen him in six freakin months, and he's making me really happy nowadays, and things are really just good. So, yes, I'm overly joyous about this, and pretty much overall I'm a fairly exuberant woman.

It looks to be a superb New Years. Mmmm yess, a definite wonderful thing.

heymeamy @ 2005-12-17T18:36:00

2005-12-17T23:46:28Z

THANK YOU GOD THIS WEEK HAS FINALLY ENDED.

WOW. i just studying my fucking ass off for these 2 exams that i had today, media law and bio. I don't think i've studied that much in....AWHILE. Media law went decent, i was fairly pleased. Bio was fucking hard. I did the best i could though, jesus.

Now, I'm packin up my stuff so i can go home and babysit my bro while my parents go to a dinner party. AND WINTER BREAK BEGINS. you have no idea how long i have been anticipating this. next week, i pretty much will be working, you know serving all the crazies that want their holiday bread. It will be insane as it always is the week before Christmas. I've got my first big Footnotes Tap Ensemble show on Wednesday. It's called Nine Ladies Dancing and A Guy, it's at the Carolina Inn at 7 pm. It's FREEE and there is FREE FOOD, so if you are around PLEASE COME! It's Christmas themed, and it's gonna be great, i'm so excited. Then after i'm crazy busy working, it'll be Christmas. And then 4 days later, I'm going to Chicago! Can't fucking wait for this. YAAAAAAAAAAY. I'm ridiculously excited about it, wow, it's crazy.

I'm sure there will be more to elaborate on later...and, guess what? my house has wireless now, so if all goes well, i should be able to use it, and that will be awesome. WOOOOOHOOOOO

heymeamy @ 2005-12-15T11:01:00

2005-12-15T16:05:58Z

so much to do! AAAAAH. SATURDAY: be over soon. other than crazy stress week, i feel good about things. w00p!

duh duh duh

2005-12-08T20:57:41Z

decisions decisions decisions...

heymeamy @ 2005-12-04T21:44:00

2005-12-05T03:10:30Z

Well, I just spent the last hour crying, at my house. God, I can't seem to do the right thing for myself and i'm not doing what you want me to do. I'm trying really hard and will continue to, because that's what i do, but every so often I do get frustrated because it never ends, no matter how hard i try or how much money and time and effort i put into it. I want to be able to just deal with it on my own and fix it that way and not have to depend on other people, but i don't think i can. And therefore, I feel bad for what i'm doing. I don't know what the answer is, so when you ask me how i want you to help me, i don't know. If i had all the time in the world, i could spend it focusing on the problem and maybe (but maybe not) fixing it. But i can't do that, and even though i feel like i'm doing so much, it's not enough. Whatever I try it seems to fail, and every family member, friend, or specialist that cares wants me doing different things, and i don't know who to listen to. I feel like i'm doing good, and really, i'm not doing it right. I'm hesitant to change things because nothing ever seems to REALLY help, so yes, i am skeptical. Very skeptical. Nothing is ever enough.

heymeamy @ 2005-12-03T21:13:00

2005-12-04T02:35:26Z

what a great filled day!

I actually went to sleep before 1 am last night, woke up at like 7:45 feeling good and like i actually got some real sleep for once. I went back to sleep until my mom called me a little before 9 telling me that I was going to be able to get my car for the weekend, which was awesome. So I hopped into the shower, and walked in the cold to the christmas parade! So I sat next to parents and children and watched for my little brother to come by in his drumline. He's in this group of kids at his elementary school (mine too). There was a group of black little girls that danced awesomely, and behind them a ford explorer pulling a trailer of the drummers. They played the same rhythm over and over, "bum bum. bum bum bum", but my brother got the biggest drum and was awesome. I found my stepdad and followed them down the street with him a little ways, and Benny smiled big when he saw us, it was overall great. Yay christmas parades, which i hadn't been to in several years.

Then I went to work and had a pretty good day, it was really really busy and I was in a great mood, i think mostly because i was just so awake!!!

Then I left work and immediately went over to my call for my dance performance with STARHEELS. The show went really well and i had a great time. There were tons of guest performers who were all really awesome. I talked to my family afterwards, and they loved it. They LOVED the Achordants, and I told them which one Yuri was, and my stepdad said they blew him away. So yay. Oh, and our last number had these breakdancer guys in it who were fantastic, and my little bro LOVED them. He wants to breakdance. I was glad my fam was there, and they told me Rachel came too, before she had to go to her call, but missed my number. She wasn't going to be able to come, so that was really really nice! Thank you. I love you. And miss you.

And yay for just hanging out and being happy.
okbye,
amy

(and sorry it's been awhile, life is crazy)

heymeamy @ 2005-11-19T15:02:00

2005-11-19T20:33:30Z

best day at work EVER!!! I got out 3 hours early! Woooooooooord. Now i'm gonna fold clothes and eat my whole foods salad bar and peaches concoction. YES!

heymeamy @ 2005-11-17T00:04:00

2005-11-17T05:15:38Z

Things are so good. The leaves are falling beautifully and they smell like autumn and goodness. I kicked freaking ass on my Media Law midterm, and I'm really proud of myself (which isn't always the case, so it's really awesome.) Some people are really good to me. I can fall asleep in my bed in the middle of the day instead some other unknown public location. I've got a new musical artist to listen to and it's really nice. My room feels like home now. I'm finally dancing as much I want to be. I'm motivated by happiness to care about what I want to--right now, i think THAT is a good thing.

yayday.

heymeamy @ 2005-11-13T20:33:00

2005-11-14T01:54:31Z

I just tap danced for 3 and half hours straight!! It was really fun, but hard, and i'm learning lots of new things. And I'm so excited about our Christmas show and our Feb show with the African American Dance Ensemble!! I get to dance on the stage of the Carolina Theatre which is AWESOME. YAY. I have a lot of work to do, but it's exciting work.

Despite being left in new surroundings, this weekend was a really good end to the week. Friday was particularly spectacular and there were very many happy things. Some were things I hadn't had for awhile and brought me back to goodness, some were new, and some were very comforting, and overall great. Woohoo.

Man, things keep changing and sometimes it's get a little weird and i'm not sure how to handle it exactly, and sometimes i feel like i'm purely on my own, but i'm just flowing with it. And that is perfectly fine with me.